Embracing the tough negotiation: Why challenging discussions bring better results

Most people I meet fear tough negotiations. This reluctance often comes from experiences where difficult issues lead to tensions between the people involved. The key is to understand one crucial difference that changes everything: be tough on the problem, but kind to the people.

With this mindset, even the most challenging negotiation becomes less daunting. In fact, I encourage setting this tone explicitly from the start:

"Let's recognize that this may be a difficult negotiation given the subject matter, but we encourage an approach where we are collectively tough on the issues while remaining friendly to each other."

I have yet to meet anyone who disagrees with this approach.

Why challenging negotiations add value

In addition to improving the atmosphere, tough negotiations often generate greater creativity and value. Here's why:

When there are constraints on both sides (limited budgets, fixed deadlines, etc.), negotiators need to think beyond the obvious. Instead of just haggling over price, you can explore:

- Volume commitments

- Extended contract terms

- Logistics solutions

- Alternative delivery models

- Creative financing options

This forced creativity reveals what really matters to each party. Since different parties rarely value the same elements equally, these discoveries unlock new opportunities for mutual gain.

The paradoxical benefit

The easier negotiation may seem less stressful, but often leaves value on the table. The challenging negotiation, when handled correctly, pushes both parties to dig deeper, think more creatively and design solutions that address the core interests rather than superficial positions.

So next time you're faced with a tough negotiation, remember - it could be your best opportunity to create extraordinary value.

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