Why trust determines the success of negotiations

In complex negotiations, both parties must be willing to take risks—trusting that the other party will keep their promises and deliver on commitments that may not be easily written into a contract. Without trust, even the best agreements remain meaningless words on paper. Here, we explain why trust is crucial and give you six concrete methods for building it.

Why trust is critical

Consider geopolitical conflicts where both sides repeatedly accuse the other of breaking agreed agreements and promises. Without a basic level of trust, it becomes nearly impossible to reach sustainable solutions.

But trust is not only important in major international negotiations. The same dynamics arise in business contexts. When a supplier promises a certain quality or delivery time, or when a customer promises future orders, much is based on mutual trust rather than legally binding clauses for every detail.

Professor Janice Nadler at Northwestern University School of Law found that negotiators who spent just five minutes in informal conversation—without discussing negotiation issues—felt more cooperative toward their counterparts, shared more information, made fewer threats, and developed more trust in the subsequent negotiation.

Trust creates approval

An often overlooked fact is that trust usually leads to liking. We like people we trust. And here's an important insight: most of us would rather do a slightly worse deal with someone we like than a really good deal with someone we don't like or trust.

That is why it is so important that you invest enough time to build up your "trust capital" with the other party. This capital makes the actual negotiation much easier to conduct successfully.

6 ways to build trust

1. Get to know the other party's language and culture

By taking the time to understand the other party's history, culture, and perspective, you send a message that you are committed to both the negotiation and the relationship—a crucial step in building trust.

This goes beyond simply understanding technical terms. It is also about capturing nuances and cultural implications behind what is being said.

2. Invest time in informal socializing

Don't assume that a few friendly emails will suffice. Instead, try to establish a personal connection by meeting for an informal lunch or two. Even just a few minutes of small talk can make a big difference.

3. Emphasize mutual dependence

When both parties believe they need each other to achieve their individual goals and that other options are limited, trust between the parties increases. As a negotiator, you can trigger this trust-building process by highlighting the unique benefits you can provide and emphasizing the damage that could result from a stalemate.

4. Show that you also have the other party's interests in mind

One of the most powerful ways to build trust is to clearly demonstrate that you understand and care about the other person's situation and interests. Use phrases such as "If I were in your shoes, I would..." or "I understand that from your point of view, this is important because..."

This shows that you don't just see the negotiation as a battle where you need to maximize your own outcome, but as a process where both parties' interests matter. When the other party feels that you genuinely understand their perspective and take their needs into account, their defenses come down and their willingness to cooperate increases significantly.

Be specific in how you express this. Instead of just saying "I understand you," show that you understand by describing the situation from their perspective. "If I were responsible for purchasing and had the same budget constraints as you, I would also be cautious about approving such an increase."

5. Utilize your social network

If you can find mutual acquaintances, building trust becomes much easier. Mutual contacts can serve as references that confirm to your counterpart that you can be trusted.

This isn't manipulation—it's human nature. We find it easier to trust someone who has been vouched for by someone we trust ourselves. Before an important meeting, do your homework: find out if you have mutual contacts on LinkedIn, shared clients, or if you went to the same university or worked at the same company in the past.

If you find a mutual acquaintance, mention this early on – but do so naturally: "I saw that you also know Maria Andersson from Volvo. I worked with her for three years and learned a tremendous amount." This immediately creates a sense of belonging and reduces the initial distance between you.

In some cultures, this is particularly important. Sometimes it is enough that the other person has heard your surname before, has a distant relative, or that his nephew went to the same school as you.

6. Deliver on smaller promises

Trust is built gradually, and the little things play a bigger role than most people think. If you say, "I'll send that information tomorrow," make sure you actually do it. If you promise to call back at three o'clock, call back at three o'clock.

This is especially critical early in a business relationship when trust is still fragile. Every small promise you keep is a deposit into your trust account. Every broken promise—even small ones—is a withdrawal that can be costly to repair.

Think strategically about this: Don't make promises you're not sure you can keep. It's better to say, "I'll try to get you the answer tomorrow, but it might take until Friday," and then deliver on Thursday, than to say, "You'll have it tomorrow," and then deliver on Friday. In the first case, you exceed expectations; in the second, you break a promise.

Small, consistent deliveries build a reputation for reliability that makes the other party dare to trust you even when it comes to the big, important things in the negotiation itself.

Executive summary

Trust is not something that just "happens" – it must be actively built. By investing time in understanding the other party, showing genuine interest in their perspective, leveraging shared networks, and consistently delivering on your promises, you build the trust capital needed to navigate even the most difficult negotiations.

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